The Weekly ❤BEAT: Volume 15
Hi Peeps,
Sorry for the tardy delivery, but here you go!
As always...
If you love it, share it.
If you don’t like it, tell me why.
If you hate it. I’ll let you go, just ask.
Discovered
Sleep divorce. It’s not what you think.
This week I came upon this gem of video, which made me laugh. And made me ponder why is sleeping in separate beds/bedrooms as a couple not normalized?
When I separated, there were many fears. One of them was sleeping alone. That fear quickly faded once I realized that I could create my own sleep sanctuary. I could have the firm mattress that I always wanted, I could get both silk sheets and high count cotton sheets and alternate as often as I fancied, I could have my room as hot and as cold as I so damn dreamed. No one to turn the AC on full blast, no one snoring all hours of the night, no one selfishly taking up more than their designated area of the bed.
While I do want to share my life with someone, I don't necessarily care to share my bed. Let me be clear, this doesn’t mean I’m going celibate. There’s this stigma that if you’re not sleeping together then you’re not sleeping together. But according to Matthew Walker, THE sleep guy, the opposite is true. Turns out couples’ sex life is actually better when they don’t sleep in the same bed together, for 3 main reasons:
When you sleep better, your hormones are normalized.
When you sleep better, your sensitivity toward feeling pleasure increases.
Increase in 1 hour of sleep increases one’s desire for having sex by 14%.
Who knew, looks like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in I Love Lucy might have had it right all along.
Loved
Sunday Scaries.
I have a really hard time on Sundays. Not because I have Sunday Blues in its true form of the meaning, but it’s because Sunday’s are ‘switch days.’ As part of co-parenting, Adam and I tried many different ways to equally divide up time with kids, but ultimately landed on one week on, one week off. Every Sunday at 6:30pm we switch. This week I had the kids so I dropped them off at Adam’s apartment in the 1st Arrondissement in Paris. <Yep, he moved with me to Paris as did his new wife. If you’re looking for this story, check out this post>.
Don’t get me wrong, one of the benefits of being a co-parent is that you actually have a balance in your life. The week kids are with me, it’s all them. I’m fully focused, no plans other than their activities, their friends and time with just the 3 of us. It’s pure quality. The weeks I’m not with them? Lots of me-time, exercise, reading, writing, exploring. I mean, if I can rewrite my marriage story I would 1000% have instituted some form of this newfound balance (and sleep divorce - btw, this word needs serious rebranding!).
Sundays are tough because it’s such a massive transition. Whatever Sunday it is - my Sunday or my Sunday with the kids, the transition to getting them or the transition to letting them go is so powerful, it’s so difficult, it’s so intense that the whole day is robbed. I do every single practice I know to keep myself present and to enjoy the moment that I have left but it slips away from me every time.
Today was no different. Except, after I dropped them off, I decided to walk home. It’s about a 45 minute walk that intentionally took 60 mins. But let me breakdown the 60 minutes for you: It’s a 12 minute walk through the Tuileries Gardens, a 7 minute walk through Place de Concorde, 3 minute walk over the Alexandre III Bridge, 13 minute walk along the Seine, 15 minutes of sitting by the Seine and soaking in the Spring sun, 10 walk through Champs de Mars (via Eiffel Tower). The whole experience was so magical. Add in the backdrop of Spring sun, blue skies and white scattered puffy clouds and it almost doesn't even sound real.
This one-hour, in my most dreaded day of the week, turned out to be my most loved moment of the week.
Learned
Who knew I had this love for roller coasters...especially at night? I sure didn't, until this weekend that is.
My daughter’s friend was in town this weekend. They came from San Francisco. I hadn’t made plans, even though I knew they were coming for some time. Idk, skipped my mind? We were at dinner Friday night and started to talk about Disneyland Paris. So right there and then we bought tickets, booked an Uber and planned to go the next day.
The day was awesome. It rained, it was cold, but whatever - we were in Disneyland Paris with friends, who can complain?! We did all the rides, but the one that stood out to me the most was the Indiana Jones. It’s not the same one as Disney California, it’s a legit Magic Mountain style rollercoaster. I went on this ride 4x, all 4x sans kids. My favorite one was the last two I rode at night. There’s something about letting go for 2 minutes, not having any thoughts in your head, having zero control over anything, and experiencing the greatest thrill.
Whether it’s making last minute plans (I’m a planner) or free-falling down to earth at speeds of 150+ mph, it’s the idea of letting go, losing control even for just a few minutes that creates the most memorable, joyful and thrilling moments.
Unliked
Life is too short and there are too many good books to waste your time on a bad one.
Someone recently recommended the book I’ll Show Myself Out, by Jessi Klein. I started to read it, but a good 50 pages in and I can’t get into it. So, I’m out.
I have 2 hard rules for reading a book (1) only read books that are recommended, I never pick up a random book (2) if after first 50 pages I'm not captivated, then it's tossed to the side. There are so many good books out there to read and re-read that it’s not worth spending time on the ones that you don’t enjoy.