Dear Reader.

Last week you got a little taste of my gift guides, which I do seasonally. This week I wanted to share with you a series I call, “Love Notes.” I write a lot of notes - notes to my kids, to myself, to my co-workers, to my friends. From time to time I write these “Love Notes” to strangers, to celebrities, to CEOs, to Founders, to things, to cities - anything, anyone, any place that has made an impact on me - good or bad.

For this week’s The Weekly Beat, I wanted to share one I wrote back in 2021 to Britney Spears, right after I watched the #FreeBritney documentary on Netflix. This particular one was an apology letter to her. An apology for assuming things about her without understanding her world, judging her without understanding her circumstances, faulting her without permission to do so.

I recently read her memoir and felt the need to resurface the apology note. She was finally able to tell her side of the story. She shared her feelings, provided context, added a completely different dimension to the photos that we saw that were simply captured through a singular lens.

To be honest, the book itself isn’t very well written, but it’s fascinating nonetheless. It’s a quick read and unveils a lot that happened behind the scenes. Some we knew, but most we didn’t.

Anywho, here’s the letter:

Dear Britney.

Boy did we fail you. Looking back it’s hard to imagine a time where we, as the public, would tolerate an episode of Family Feud as captured in the image above. But we didn’t just tolerate it, we cheered it on. We poured ourselves a glass of wine with a side of popcorn and just watched it all unravel.

I vividly recall the images. The ‘frames’ of you hitting the car with an umbrella. The shot of you looking directly into the lens with your freshly shaved head. 

What I don’t recall...at all actually, is the full context. The full story. Those actions occurred...those images were taken...right after you lost custody of your kids. Now, one can argue custody wasn’t granted FOR a reason...I don’t care what the reason, I don’t care what the backstory, you take kids away from a loving mom and you just watch what will undoubtedly unfold. Not because ‘she’s flown over the coos coos nest’ not because she’s ‘lost her marbles’, but BECAUSE IT IS UNNATURAL. 

Instead of lending our support, instead of turning the lens on the media and shaming them for their abusive behavior, for their continued harassment, for their gross double standard, we kept all cameras running on you...we demonized YOU and shamed YOU. We forced YOU into complete isolation. 

I look back at your performances and I appreciate them through SUCH a different lens. I don’t even know if this letter-writing is a thing or if anyone is reading it, or will read it, but I just want to extend a heartfelt apology. As a mother, as a woman, as businesswoman, I so respect your journey, I so respect your fight for your kids, I so respect your incredible talent - what you’ve built. I’m sorry we failed you. I’m sorry the system failed you.  

While time is something we never get back, my hope for you is that you get back the freedom and the peace that has been locked away from you for so many years.

Apologetically. 

♥︎ Ani

Dear Kristen,

You play such an integral role in our family, yet we’ve never met.

You’re forever my daughter’s favorite person - as Anna from Frozen. And you’re forever my role model for being the most perfectly imperfect human. In a way, I guess, you stand out from the rest of your peers similar to how Anna stands apart from traditional Disney heroines.

I guess I wanted to write this letter to you…to let you know how much I appreciate you sharing your experiences through the lens of which you live your life rather than through a perfect filter. Where most try to capture and live in the state of ‘perfect’ bliss, you show us a more relatable world that is filled with many emotions - some great, some not so great. Some experiences are fun and exhilarating, some are raw and messy. But that’s just the journey of life. And I appreciate you sharing your journey with us, cause in some stupid way, it makes it ok to know that even ‘Anna’ can have a really fucking hard day.

Thank you for ‘showing yourself’,

♥︎ Ani

Dear Homeless Man Outside the Target Store in SF,

I wore this outfit on a day that I had clearly surrendered to the lack of any form of style in SF. I was doing a quick Target run to grab gift for my daughter’s friend for her birthday. I put on a pair of cropped, bootleg cut brown jeans, a cool camel toned sweatshirt, my usual teddy bear jacket, my camel toned sunglasses and my camel toned hair band. Now, these items on their own I would categorize as ‘cool’, but admittedly together it does come off as very monotone. But I figured, hey at least I’m wearing jeans, which is already upping my effort tremendously here. After all, who is going to (a) notice and/or (b) call me out on wearing too many tones of brown.

I’ll tell you who! The homeless guy sitting outside Target. Yep, I walk by and the guy yells out “hey lady, I think you’re wearing too many shades of brown together. It doesn’t look good, it looks messy.”

I mean, where do you even start to peel back the layers of that comment? I felt so many different things, some unexpected, most not.

My first feeling was anger. “Wait…you, a homeless dude calling me ‘messy’? Really?”

The anger fuels more anger. “Also, I don’t recall engaging in a conversation, so why the unsolicited feedback on my monochromatic attire choice?”

But then as I catch a glimpse of myself in the window, the anger quickly turns into awareness. “hmmm, guy’s gotta point, way too many browns in one outfit, it is kinda looking silly.”

Then I burst into laughter followed quickly by deep gratitude for him calling me out. I was proud of him for having a sense of humor and whatever joy left in life to engage in a conversation about something he knew would strike something in me. And for that I want to thank you…

Thank you for taking note. Thank you for making me feel so many emotions in such a short period of time. Thank you for making me laugh so hard. And thank you for kicking me back into my true self —> don’t ever surrender no matter easy, keep on your path of showcasing you even though at times you feel out of place.

Still smiling,

♥︎ Ani

Dear Glennon,

Your work has been so instrumental in helping guide my journey of self discovery. Words of appreciation and gratitude don’t quite capture the depth of magnitude your work has impacted me...and so many others out there. 

To be clear, your book didn’t guide me to deconstruct my life at the ripe age of 41...my Knowing did ;) deep down, in my gut, with every cell in my body I knew this:

“There is a life meant for you that is truer than the one you’re living. But in order to have it, you will have to forge it yourself. You will have to create on the outside what you are imagining on the inside. Only you can bring it forth. And it will cost you everything.” And boy did it!

While I wish I had read your book when I was embarking on this journey 2 years ago, I think reading it while I was in the eye of the storm was what was most helpful. The experiences you shared, the emotions you felt were so parallel to my own feelings as I was literally crawling through this stage of transition in my life. You helped me anchor my purpose at a time when I questioned all of it, you enabled me to SOMEHOW lower the volume of the external voices and internal narratives loudly shouting a myriad of myths:

...“this is midlife crisis, pull yourself together and go back to your life” 

…”what you are seeking doesn’t exist, this is as good as it gets” 

…”don’t be selfish, you have to put the kids first, this will destroy them”

You made me feel like I wasn’t crazy or selfish or naive to:

…”want the kind of love in which I am fully seen, known, and cherished”

…”want my kids to see what a relationship filled with immense love and respect looks like, because I can model it for them”

…”want to not feel guilty for wanting to be a better person. If that means doing “selfish” things then so be it, because I want to show up as a better person to my kids, to my partner and to myself”

You made me feel secure that I wasn’t chasing a mirage, or shit that only happens in movies...or to Gwyneth Paltrow (conscious uncoupling? wait, is that a thing that can happen to normal humans? YES!). You enabled me to stay committed to the climb, the hard work and heartbreak, because what exists on the other side IS real. That despite the pain and the struggle, it’s worth it.   

Thank you for sharing your experience and your story. It allowed me to anchor and hold true what I knew in my gut was my capacity to live, love and be loved. 

With an UNTAMED heart, 

♥︎ Ani

Dear Whitney, 

The headlines are quite different this time around aren’t they? 

“America’s youngest self-made female billionaire”.

“Youngest woman to take a company public”.

….pages upon pages reflecting on your economic value creation, your net worth and being named as part of the elite list that includes the select few - Oprah, Sheryl and Meg.  

Don’t get me wrong, all THAT deserves lots of glory (and it’s own Love Note, perhaps), but what I’m most in awe of and fascinated by is your story...and how you completely took ownership and rewrote it. 

If you’re reading this and by off chance you’re not Whitney, don’t waste your time googling the garbage that is out there. Here’s the gist. Woman meets man at work. They fall in love. It doesn’t work out. She gets bad words seared on her forehead, tarred, feathered, burned at the stake (aka fired). Meanwhile the guy gets the laughs, high fives, free drinks and the promotion. Last time I time I checked it takes two to tango, yet somehow you got the smear campaign, your work contribution and professional value was directly linked with your personal decisions. 

But you didn’t allow that to be the ending of your story. You may have lost your footing for a hot second (well maybe 2 years), but you knew your capabilities, you knew your value, you knew what you were capable of creating. And so, you rewrote it all. 

It’s not the $16 billion market cap that is astonishing. It’s not the app that has shifted the rules of the dating game that is so impressive. It’s your journey of getting to Bumble. Your ability to find the confidence, find the strength to rise up from a challenge and retell it! THAT is what is so fucking awesome. THAT is the magic of Bumble.  

Your creation reminds us that life stories are written in pencil and can be always re-written and re-drafted to what YOU want to tell. 

Whether that’s a story of confidence, community, friendship, marriage, re-marriage, new families, combined families...whatever you want it to be, the power of the story-telling is in YOUR hands. 

With MAD respect!

♥︎ Ani

Dear John,

I’m gonna be honest. You got me with your cheesy ad campaign back in November 2019. 

Yep, while the markets hated it (and made you know it), it actually worked brilliantly on your highly targeted audience...which includes Yours Truly!

I bought myself the Tread+ on what I would easily categorize as an impulse purchase. Never owned a pair of running shoes, never ran more than 20 seconds, but hey, I was going through a transitional phase in my life and maybe, just maybe, running would give me the escape that I so desperately craved. 

Boy, did I underestimate the power of what you created. My $5k+ purchase would prove to be the most valuable investment I’ve made in myself EVER, more valuable to me than the $100k+ investment in a MBA from a top-tier business school. 

Here’s why…

Peloton isn’t about breaking a sweat, it’s not about exercise, it’s not about losing weight, or losing inches, getting toned...I mean, yes those are potential benefits, but that’s not how I assess your true value.   

It’s finding, building, nurturing your mental strength, your emotional endurance, your inner power, your self-confidence, your undeniable courage. It’s digging deep, and on some days wayyyyy fucking deep, to find the strength to show up for yourself when you have zero desire to do so. It’s finding the courage to take a risk because whoever said this quote is damn fucking right, “risk IS the tariff paid to leave the shores of predictable misery.”

No one can FEEL the power of your product, your community, your brand unless they have experienced it. So, I challenge you on your next marketing campaign, tap into your community of users and ask them this…

“What risk did you take after a Peloton run or ride that you never thought you would have the courage to do”? 

I’ll share with you mine: I cold emailed a prominent investor in the Bay Area to schedule time to meet with him to share a business idea. He responded within 3 minutes!

At business school, I learned about topics, functions, how to write effective business plans, but what I didn’t learn was how to get out of my own way. THAT, you taught me!

With eternal love and gratitude for:

...the Peloton brand

...the Peloton team

...the Peloton coaches/trainers/therapists/inspirers/leaders

...the Peloton community

…AND immense respect for YOU, John Foley!

♥︎Ani

Dear Britney.

Boy did we fail you. Looking back it’s hard to imagine a time where we, as the public, would tolerate an episode of Family Feud as captured in the image above. But we didn’t just tolerate it, we cheered it on. We poured ourselves a glass of wine with a side of popcorn and just watched it all unravel.

I vividly recall the images. The ‘frames’ of you hitting the car with an umbrella. The shot of you looking directly into the lens with your freshly shaved head. 

What I don’t recall...at all actually, is the full context. The full story. Those actions occurred...those images were taken...right after you lost custody of your kids. Now, one can argue custody wasn’t granted FOR a reason...I don’t care what the reason, I don’t care what the backstory, you take kids away from a loving mom and you just watch what will undoubtedly unfold. Not because ‘she’s flown over the coos coos nest’ not because she’s ‘lost her marbles’, but BECAUSE IT IS UNNATURAL. 

Instead of lending our support, instead of turning the lens on the media and shaming them for their abusive behavior, for their continued harassment, for their gross double standard, we kept all cameras running on you...we demonized YOU and shamed YOU. We forced YOU into complete isolation. 

I look back at your performances and I appreciate them through SUCH a different lens. I don’t even know if this letter-writing is a thing or if anyone is reading it, or will read it, but I just want to extend a heartfelt apology. As a mother, as a woman, as businesswoman, I so respect your journey, I so respect your fight for your kids, I so respect your incredible talent - what you’ve built. I’m sorry we failed you. I’m sorry the system failed you.  

While time is something we never get back, my hope for you is that you get back the freedom and the peace that has been locked away from you for so many years.

Apologetically. 

♥︎ Ani

Dear Melissa, 

I love that your practice makes me WANT to show up every day. I don’t dread it, I crave it, because my mind, my mood and energy NEED it!

I love that it’s a daily practice that fits in our existing, chaotic life. I don’t have to plan for it, I don’t stress over it. It occurs organically, because is serves as a physical and mental treat. 

I love that the impact of your practice is felt more broadly than just myself. On my noticeably bad days, my kids (9 and 10) will direct me to you ALWAYS - “roll out your mat and talk to Melissa.” 

I love how real and relatable you are...as a woman, a mom, a businesswoman, a wife. I love that you show your vulnerabilities. I love that you recognize the challenges of juggling everything and allowing space for self-compassion. 

And...

I love your style. I love that you make the effort. I love that you are changing the conversation about “yoga pants”. I love that you have your unique point of view and you invite us to share it. 

Thank you for showing up for us. Thank you for sharing your practice. Thank you for your incredible style :) Thank you for making it ok to not be perfect. Thank you for Melissa Wood Health. 

With LOVE and endless GRATITUDE. 

♥︎ Ani